


Imagining Us

by digthewriter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: HP: EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-04 14:05:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digthewriter/pseuds/digthewriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During Christmas in the Eighth Year, Harry and Draco sat across from each other in the Great Hall.  They barely talked, yet, the silence was the most comfortable thing Harry had ever experienced.  After everything that had happened, Harry fell in love with Draco, but unfortunately for him, Draco had a boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imagining Us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [slashedsilver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/slashedsilver/gifts).



> A heartfelt thanks to arjd and stephaniejo84 for all their hard work and input. All the mistakes are mine. Writing “In Hogwarts” or “Eighth Year” is not my forte, so I hope you can forgive my errors, slashedsilver.

Harry tried to avoid listening to the gossips around in him in the Great Hall. Since Voldemort had been defeated and the Trials were over with, there was nothing left to do except for gossip. He was finally allowed to be “normal,” and for some odd reason, he didn’t like it.

“How long have they been together?” someone asked. Harry didn’t care to look up to see who it was.

“Six weeks I hear. Nott’s going to give him a ‘Promise ring’.” The answer came from someone sitting next to Harry. That someone was Dean Thomas. Harry didn’t expect Dean to partake in such chatter.

“A what?” Ron asked. Harry rolled his eyes as the conversation took over his side of the table.

“A Promise Ring: It’s an old tradition, not everyone follows it,” a fifth year replied.

“So what does it do?” Ron asked. Harry shot a look towards Hermione who seemed annoyed. Even if they _had_ decided to stay friends, Hermione still found Ron as annoying as ever.

“It’s a ring that indicates, _I promise to marry you_. It’s sort of like a pre-engagement ring. In Pureblood families, you give someone a Promise Ring, then when you’re ready for a bigger commitment, the families get together and they have a proper ceremony and you exchange Engagement Rings, and set a date for the Wedding.” Ginny seemed far too interested in the conversation.

“And that works for blokes too?” Ron asked, his voice sounding more interested than before.

 _Blokes_? Harry wondered.

“Yeah, it seems Nott had been trying to get him to be his boyfriend for ages and they’d stopped talking about it because of the war and all, but now, he finally agreed. So Nott wants to take it to the next level as soon as possible.”

“Who?” Harry couldn’t believe he’d just asked that question. The conversation, though in whispers, had overtaken any coherent thought he’d had.

“Malfoy,” Hermione answered. She’d been sitting directly across from Harry and her sharp look shut Harry up. He wasn’t sure why he was intimidated by that look in her eyes, but he was.

The conversations continued, and the topics changed.

\---*---

After dinner, Harry caught up with Hermione to ask her a question.

“What is it, Harry?” she asked, her voice calm.

“What was that about on at the table?” Harry pointed back towards the Great Hall, as they stopped outside Gryffindor Tower’s entrance.

“What was what about?” Hermione asked naively.

“The thing about…” Harry paused for a second and whispered, “Malfoy.”

“I just don’t…” Hermione seemed to hesitate and Harry waited patiently. He knew she’d eventually say whatever it was. “I just don’t want to see you hurt.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You will.”

She uttered the password to the Portrait and took her leave to enter the Gryffindor Common Rooms. When Harry joined her moments later, it looked as though she had more to say.

“Don’t let Ron drag you into something you don’t want to do.”

Harry was now even more confused.

“Hermione, I _really_ don’t understand.”

“I know, but you will.” She left Harry standing alone in the empty Common Room. Harry sat on the sofa and stared at the fire.

The holidays were coming up and soon everyone would be off to see their families and Harry had decided to stay back at Hogwarts.

The Weasleys were still healing and Ron thought it would be best for him to return to them. Harry didn’t want to remind them more of their loss, so he’d decided not to go with Ron. Hermione’s parents were insistent on her return for the holidays, and she seemed to have no other choice.

Harry caught himself wondering if Malfoy would be staying.

\---*---

It snowed every day and each day was harsher than the day before. Despite the Warming Charms all around the castle, Harry was always cold. He headed to the Great Hall for lunch, hoping the warmth of the food would fill the emptiness he’d been feeling.

His table was emptier than he’d imagined and for once, Harry wished that he _were_ surrounded with people who would gossip. At least a company of chatterers was better than no company at all.

“Potter, do you mind if I sit?”

Harry looked up from his bowl of hot soup and caught the eye of a familiar, and perhaps, and unwanted face.

“Malfoy, what are you doing on this side of the border?” Harry joked. After the Trials, he and Malfoy hadn’t shared a word with each other and even if they had the same classes, they didn’t acknowledge each other’s presence.

It’s not like Harry hadn’t tried. It was Malfoy who preferred to look cut off and after everything Harry had done their sixth year, Harry _finally_ respected Malfoy’s space.

“McGonagall asked us to share the tables,” Malfoy answered. “There aren’t enough students here that they need all the tables, and she is _apparently_ encouraging interhouse interaction and cooperation.”

“So the Slytherins have to sit with the Gryffindors?” Harry asked.

“Not necessarily… I just. I doubt anyone else will sit with me and I figured at least you wouldn’t try small talk or a hex.”

Harry half-snorted. “I don’t know which one would be worse.”

“Yeah me neither.” Malfoy was still standing, and Harry hadn’t realised that until he asked. “So, do you mind if I sit?”

Harry shook his head frantically, then told himself to calm down. Malfoy took a seat in front of him with a half-a-smile on his face. He then immediately straightened up and concentrated on his own food.

They sat in silence for almost an hour. Even after they had finished eating, they read, seated at the table.

Malfoy was the first one to stand up and leave. He didn’t turn to look back at Harry and Harry wondered if Malfoy would return for dinner and if he’d sit across from Harry again. Harry found himself liking the silent company of Malfoy more than the other two options he’d referred to in his head before.

Harry returned to the Gryffindor Common Room and tried to do homework. Eventually he fell asleep on the sofa; when he awoke, he returned to his rooms but the homework did not want to be done. Harry couldn’t remember what he did before for years when he’d spent his Christmas holidays at Hogwarts. He was beginning to miss his friends’ company more and wondered if he should have just left with Ron and spent the holidays with the Weasleys.

He cast a Tempus Charm and realised it was still three more hours until dinner time. Feeling defeated and unmotivated, Harry laid in his bed and stared at the roof, wondering if he’d see Malfoy again.

Harry dozed off for another hour, then decided to read until it was dinner time.

*-*

“Hello, Harry,” Luna Lovegood interrupted Harry’s thoughts as he was making his way to the Great Hall for dinner.

“Hi, Luna,” Harry said, with a smile. “You didn’t go home for the Christmas hols?”

“No, Neville asked me to stay,” she replied with a smile and walked into the Great Hall with Harry.

“That’s nice of you,” Harry answered. A moment later she was off and went to the far end of the table where Neville was waiting for her.

Harry looked over to the spot he’d been sitting at earlier for lunch and it was empty. He wasn’t sure why he was disappointed. He wasn’t sure why he felt anything at all. He resumed his seat and opened his book.

“What are you reading?” Malfoy’s voice was hard to miss.

Harry looked up from his plate of food and his book to meet Malfoy’s gaze for the second time that day. “I thought you said you didn’t care for small talk?” he asked.

“Fair enough,” Malfoy replied and looked away from Harry.

“It’s _The Home Life and Social Habits of British Muggles_ ,” Harry answered, even though he knew he didn’t have to.

“Why?” Malfoy asked with derision. Harry raised an eyebrow. “I mean, weren’t you raised by Muggles...why are you reading _that_ book?”

“They want to implement a more in-depth course work in Muggle Studies and McGonagall has asked Hermione and me to help. There’s a new writer, researcher, really, who is interested in writing a more—”

“Okay, I’m sorry I asked,” Malfoy said, interrupting Harry.

“I know it’s not very exciting…”

“Indeed.”

“But there’s no reason to be rude.”

“Now you sound like Granger,” Malfoy retorted.

“There are far worse people I _could_ sound like,” Harry answered.

They glared at each other for a few more minutes, until Harry removed his gaze from Malfoy and returned it towards his book. The silence between them settled and was comfortable again and an hour later, after Harry’s second helping of dessert which Malfoy grimaced at him for, Malfoy stood up and left without a word.

\---*---

When Harry arrived at the Great Hall the next morning for breakfast, Malfoy was already sitting at his “usual spot.” Harry thought it was weird that it had only been Malfoy’s third time at the Gryffindor Table and he considered it to be Malfoy’s spot.

Harry walked up to the other side of the table and sat across from Malfoy. When he turned to look at the head table, Harry saw Professor McGonagall smiling at him. Harry politely smiled in return and turned his gaze towards Malfoy, who was scowling.

“What’s the matter?” Harry asked. “Afraid the teachers will think we’re getting along?”

Malfoy didn’t respond and took a bite of his omelette. Harry did the same and again, they were quiet for an hour, sitting across from each other, reading whatever book or newspaper the other had brought, until Malfoy left.

Their brief meal-encounters continued for days. Christmas day came and went and besides a casual “Happy Christmas” to each other, neither Harry nor Malfoy acknowledged anything else between them.

It was odd, but Harry liked it. He reckoned Malfoy liked it too. They had had so much animosity towards each other, so much trauma in their life, so for three hours a day, Harry and Malfoy continued to sit across from each other in silence and Harry relished in the solitude and welcomed the silent company.

The last day of solitude arrived. Harry sat at the table and waited for Malfoy. Malfoy was scowling.

“What’s the matter?” Harry asked, unable to help himself. The next day all the students were due to return and the new term was going to begin. This was—in a way—their last night together.

“I’ve received a letter from Mother,” Malfoy answered and stared at the empty table.

“And…?” Harry asked, attempting to make his voice sound casual.

“She informs me that Theo has asked her permission—and she’s granted it—under the circumstances that I won’t have an issue with—” Malfoy seemed to be struggling with his words.

“Is this about your upcoming engagement?” Harry asked casually. He knew he’d heard the gossip here and there and since he and Malfoy never actually _talked_ , he didn’t seem appropriate to ever bring it up before.

“You know about that?” Malfoy sounded surprised.

“An openly gay couple getting engaged on Hogwarts ground is quite the topic of interest at the Gryffindor table,” Harry answered, and smiled softly. He figured if anything, Malfoy would be happy that he was mentioned in conversations where he wasn’t always spoken ill of.

“You’re so lucky, Potter,” Malfoy said, surprising Harry. Of all the things Harry had expected Malfoy to say, _that_ was not one of them. Above all, Malfoy’s tone was almost envious.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

“You’re out, and you apparently don’t seem to have the need to attach yourself to someone. If I had been so—”

“So what?”

“So dispassionate—”

“Thanks,” Harry said, as sarcastically as he could.

“No, I mean it. You’re out, aren’t you?” Malfoy asked even though he really didn’t need to. If Malfoy knew Harry was gay, it was because Harry _was_ out.

“Yeah. So?” Harry raised an eyebrow, in what felt like a while since having a conversation with Malfoy.

“Yeah, I thought my coming out would be easier if I associated myself with someone and now—”

“Malfoy, do you _not_ want to be with Nott?” Harry did his best to make his tone concerned and friendly.

“It’s not that easy. I did—I mean—I do. Just, I don’t want a _Promise Ring_ , I don’t want to promise him that I’ll marry him...when…”

“When what?” Harry pushed for Malfoy to complete his sentence.

“When I don’t even know what I’m going to do tomorrow; what I’m going to do after we leave Hogwarts. I can’t promise someone now that we’ll be together forever, get married, and all that…”

Harry nodded. He knew exactly how Malfoy felt. Up until a year ago, Harry didn’t even know if he’d live to see his eighteenth birthday, and this was the first time in seven years when his life wasn’t being dictated by people around him. He could _never_ make that sort of a commitment at such an early age. He reckoned Malfoy was the same. They had both been casualties of the war, regardless of what side they’d been on.

“Why don’t you just tell him, you want to wait?” Harry asked.

“It’s not that easy,” Malfoy said. “I’m not very good at…”

“At what?” Harry probed at Malfoy again.

“I don’t know—breaking up. Telling the truth. Standing…” Malfoy paused again.

“Standing up for yourself?” Harry asked and Malfoy half-nodded. “You don’t seem to have that problem with me.” Malfoy glared at Harry. “See, _that_. Give everyone one of those looks and no one will want to give you a Promise Ring.”

Malfoy laughed. Harry couldn’t believe it, he actually laughed. It wasn’t one of those smug-Malfoy sneers; it was a genuine indication of merriment. As happy as Harry was to get a real reaction from Malfoy, he still found it a bit unusual.

“Thanks, Potter,” Malfoy said.

“For what?”

“For this...these past few days. You’re not that bad when you’re not speaking,” Malfoy answered with a coy smile.

“And when I am…?”

Malfoy shrugged. “You’re alright then too.”

“Thanks, Malfoy. I’m glad you think so.” Harry’s sarcasm wasn’t hard to miss, but he was happy about the last few weeks as well. Harry was afraid to turn and look towards McGonagall, he feared that she’d be smiling approvingly and that would make him more self-conscious than he already was.

The last night, unlike the prior ones, Harry and Malfoy both stood up off the table together and left the Great Hall. Harry turned to walk towards the Gryffindor Tower and Malfoy towards the Slytherin Dungeon.

“Well, it’s been an interesting couple of weeks, Malfoy,” Harry said, moving his hand forward, wondering if Malfoy would take it.

“I don’t have to tell you…” Malfoy said.

“I know, not a word about this to anyone,” Harry answered.

Malfoy smiled and shook Harry’s hand. “See you, Potter,” he said and walked away. Harry felt an odd empty feeling in the pit of his stomach and shook it off. He was excited to see his friends in the morning.

\---*---

Harry woke up the next morning and looked over at the beds across from him. His friends were back and their stuff was settled next to their beds. He showered quickly and decided to meet up with them for breakfast. When he arrived at the Great Hall, it was business as usual—as though the last two weeks had never happened—the silence he shared with Malfoy _never happened_.

Harry quickly walked in and glanced over at the Slytherin table. Malfoy was sitting next to Nott who had his arm around him. Harry stopped to check the feeling in the pit of his stomach, but it wasn’t there; still, he didn’t like Nott’s arm around Malfoy. He chalked it off to caring for Malfoy as a friend and feeling bad that his new _friend_ felt pressured into a relationship he wasn’t ready for.

“Harry!” Ron and Ginny nearly screamed in unison and Harry scurried towards them. Harry hugged his friends and sat down in between Ron and Ginny, his back towards the Slytherin table. It wasn’t his usual spot, in fact, it was where Malfoy used to sit, but Harry figured there were so many students at the table, he wouldn’t really have his _spot_ any more.

“Wait ‘til you hear the news!” Ron said, excitedly pointing towards Hermione who rolled her eyes.

“It is _hardly_ news,” Hermione protested. “I hear you’ve been sitting with Malfoy every day for meals.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, pretending to look sceptical as he silently gulped with nervousness. “Where did you hear that?”

“Luna,” Ginny answered. “She said you two looked cosy.”

Harry laughed. “McGonagall insisted that we share tables. He came and sat across from me. We barely talked.” Harry shrugged, hoping he sounded nonchalant.

“Really that’s all that happened?”

“Did you hear that we fought?” Harry asked and his three friends shook their heads. “Do we both look perfectly alive to you?” They nodded. “So, that’s all that happened. He was...I was courteous to him and he was tolerable towards me. Trust me; I'm glad that I don’t have to sit across from him anymore.” Harry casually glanced towards Malfoy at the Slytherin table and saw Nott kissing him. He immediately looked back and locked eyes with Hermione.

“So what’s this news?” Harry asked, hoping to change the subject.

Hermione groaned and Ginny laughed. “It seems, Hermione and Blaise Zabini had been exchanging owls throughout the holidays and are very close to becoming a couple,” Ginny filled Harry in.

“It’s Ron’s fault,” Hermione argued.

“How is it Ron’s fault?” Harry asked, curious.

“He—” Hermione groaned exasperatedly again.

“I asked Hermione to walk with me on the Hogwarts Express while we went looking for…” Ron paused briefly and whispered the last bit, “...looking for Pansy.”

“What for?” Harry asked.

“He apparently fancies her,” Ginny spat out.

“Oh,” Harry said.

“I’m sorry, mate. I know—” Ron looked sheepish.

“Ron, she apologised to me, wrote a letter of apology to the Ministry and serves detention with McGonagall every Saturday.” Harry laughed. “I don’t hold any sort of grudge against her…”

Ron sighed with relief.

“So what happened? How did Blaise Zabini get in the picture?” Harry asked. The fact that his two best friends were romantically interested in Malfoy’s two best friends was not lost on Harry.

“Well…” Ron started. “The moment we got there, Zabini couldn’t take his eyes off Hermione. I was shocked…”

“Why because no one could _ever_ want me?” Hermione snapped.

“No! You’re mental!” Ron retorted. “Because I didn’t think he’d ever admit fancying a Muggleborn.” Ron rolled his eyes and Harry couldn’t help but laugh. He eventually was silenced by Hermione’s glare.

“So tell me more,” Harry said, nudging Ron with his elbow.

“There’s nothing to tell,” Hermione interrupted before Ron could say anything else. “We have exchanged a few letters.”

“A few letters?” Ron nearly shrieked. “That’s why you spent the day after Christmas and all day New Year’s Day with him?”

Hermione snapped her head towards Ginny. “You _told_ him?”

“I didn’t...he took the letter from my room and read it!” Ginny answered, sounding uneasy. Hermione took a piece of fruit and threw it at Ron who caught it and ate it. Everyone at the table was laughing, until Zabini stopped by and stood next to Hermione.

“Hermione,” Zabini said, “I was wondering if you’ll walk with me to the next class.”

The silence on the table was daunting, Harry thought. He wondered if he’d ever walked up to the Slytherin table to speak with Malfoy, would everyone stare at him the way the Gryffindors were staring at Zabini.

 _Why would I walk up to the Slytherin table to speak to Malfoy_? Harry thought. He dismissed the idea completely and continued to observe Hermione’s reaction with the rest of his friends.

Hermione was turning visibly red. Harry wondered two things almost simultaneously. First Zabini was lucky to have such a distinguished complexion that if he were embarrassed, at least his face wouldn’t show it. Second, Harry wondered if Nott ever made Malfoy blush the way Hermione was blushing in front of him.

She nodded curtly at the table, and walked away with Zabini. When Zabini held her hand, the entire Gryffindor table broke out in an “ooh” sound. Harry couldn’t help but feel jealous, he wasn’t entirely sure why.

\---*---

The next few days went by in a blur. School was back in session and it was as though the Professors had been taking it easy on the students the first term that they’d decided to take vengeance on them after the holidays. Harry and Ron spent most for their time together doing homework and whenever they’d see Hermione, Ron would pester her about Pansy.

“She doesn’t think you _actually_ like her,” Hermione told Ron one night, when they were sitting by the fire in the Common Room.

“What do you mean?” Ron asked, annoyed.

“She thinks you’re tricking her. Sort of like a punishment for—”

“That’s ridiculous!” Ron answered with disgust.

“Why don’t you go on a double date?” Harry offered. “You and Zabini can go with Ron and Parkinson, and maybe she’ll see that you don’t really hold a grudge against…”

Hermione didn’t say anything in response but simply cleared her throat.

“What?” both Harry and Ron asked together.

“Blaise, doesn’t like that I still hang out with my ex-boyfriend,” Hermione answered, hesitantly. “It’s okay when you’re around, Harry, but…”

“We dated for a few short months!” Ron retorted.

“I know, but…”

“Make it a group thing,” Harry offered. He realised that he was trying to push his friends away in search of some alone time. But, he knew that he wouldn’t have what he had had before. He wouldn’t have it with Malfoy.

“Take Malfoy and Nott,” he added.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea!” Ron said. “Harry, you should come too, and Ginny and Dean. We’ll make it a real group thing and then it won’t be awkward.”

“I don’t know, I’m busy,” Harry said, struggling to find an excuse.

“You don’t even know when we’re going to plan it for!” Ron argued.

Harry sighed. He had no one else but himself to blame for the mess he’d just put himself in. “Alright,” he said resignedly. “Just let me know, whenever.” He got up and gathered his books.

“Where are you going?” Ron asked.

“To the library,” Harry answered. He figured if he wished to be alone, in a school full of students, the library would be the best place for him to find some peace.

\---*---

A week later, the plan was made. “The group thing” was happening on a Saturday on the second weekend of February. Everyone was going to meet at the front gates by eleven o’clock and walk to Hogsmeade together.

Harry arrived last to meet the group on Saturday morning. He’d sort of hoped that they’d all give up and leave without him and he wouldn’t have to join them. He was even more surprised that not only had the group waited, but they’d been convinced by Malfoy.

“Yeah Malfoy suggested that he’d just wait for you and let everyone else go first, but Nott wouldn’t have it,” Ginny informed Harry.

“He’s a bit possessive, isn’t he?” Harry joked with Ginny who nodded as they walked a few paces behind the group towards Hogsmeade Village.

The group eventually dispersed when they arrived at their destination. Zabini wanted to get far away from Ron as possible, Ron asked Pansy to have a drink with him, Dean asked Harry’s permission to take Ginny shopping, the only people that were left were Malfoy, Nott, and Harry.

“Why don’t the two of you go on ahead,” Harry said, “I’ll just pop in here for a Butterbeer.” Harry pointed towards the Three Broomsticks and Nott didn’t have to be told twice. He pulled Malfoy away before Malfoy could say anything.

Harry didn’t go inside Three Broomsticks; instead, he decided to walk around. Eventually he found a rock that wasn’t completely covered with snow, placed a bit of a Warming Spell around him, and sat.

It was a nice afternoon, Harry thought, despite everything else that was happening around him. He didn’t wish to be dragged to the village with the whole group, only to be left feeling like an extra wheel and there he was, left behind like a spare wheel.

“A Knut for your thoughts?” Harry heard the familiar voice again and looked up to see Malfoy _sans-boyfriend_ standing in front of him.

“What are you doing here?” Harry asked and Malfoy shrugged. “Where’s Nott?”

“Off to buy me a present,” Malfoy answered smugly.

Harry shook his head. “That makes you worse than before, you know that right?”

Malfoy shrugged again. “Are you going to sit out here all day?” he asked. “I thought you were going to get a drink.”

“I was...but…”

“I saw you in the library,” Malfoy said when Harry had been quiet for a while.

Harry was surprised. “You did? Why didn’t you come by?” he asked. He wondered how many times had Malfoy seen him there.

“I don’t know, figured I was disturbing you.”

“You don’t—” Harry stopped himself. This was someone else’s boyfriend, Harry told himself. It probably was a good idea that he didn’t stop by Harry’s table. “You could have said hello.”

“It’s the library, we’re not supposed to talk in there,” Malfoy answered haughtily.

Harry shook his head. “Which is really how we get along best anyway,” he answered causing Malfoy to laugh. Harry decided that he quite liked Malfoy’s genuine laugh. “We should go before your boyfriend comes looking for you and nearly well hexes me.”

“It’s too bad you don’t carry your Invisibility Cloak anymore,” Malfoy said, surprising Harry again. “We could have hidden in there.”

Harry’s breath nearly hitched when he thought of being hidden under the Cloak with Malfoy. They’d have to be close and tight in order to hide successfully—Harry stopped himself again. He _should not_ be having thoughts like that about Malfoy.

Harry and Malfoy walked into the Three Broomsticks and nearly everyone from their group was there. They all turned their heads to look at them and Harry felt his face turning red. He snapped his head to look at Malfoy’s reaction, who was calm, as though nothing strange had happened.

 _Right_. Nothing strange had happened. They had just walked into the pub like a couple of friends; because that’s what they were— _a couple_ of friends.

Harry immediately left Malfoy’s side and went to sit next to Ron on his right who was holding Parkinson’s hand on his left. “Where’s Theo?” she asked.

Harry shrugged. “Went to buy Malfoy a gift or something.”

Pansy rolled her eyes and gave a disappointed look. Ron leaned in and whispered in Harry’s ear. “She doesn’t like him.” Harry nodded and looked at her who in turn winked at Harry.

Harry felt as though there was a big joke that everyone knew at the table and he was unknowingly a part of. He felt utterly uncomfortable and stood up. “Right, then,” he said. “I just remembered I’ve got some work to do, so I’ll be off. I’ll see you lot later.” Before anyone had a chance to get a word in, Harry bolted for the door.

Harry ran for several minutes away from the Three Broomsticks, away from the Hogsmeade Village until he couldn’t feel his legs anymore, until he was out of breath. He couldn’t Apparate. Where would he go? So he ran. He ran all the way to Hogwarts and when he reached, he nearly collapsed.

The thing was, he _had_ his Invisibility Cloak with him, he had had it the entire time. When he reached Hogwarts he heard voices, people approaching so he quickly took it out and wrapped it around himself. Students came and went near him; no one knew he’d been sitting there. He stayed sitting at a bench near the gate and cried. There was nothing else he _could_ do. He felt alone, and he had no reason to be. What he really felt, what he knew he really felt, was the longing he had for Malfoy.

And the worst part of it all was that Malfoy was with someone who he didn’t want. It didn’t mean that Malfoy wanted Harry. It just meant that Harry was fucked.

\---*---

Later that afternoon, after a long and hot shower, Harry headed to the library to be alone. He was sitting at a corner table doing his homework when he heard the thud of a heavy book dropping in front of him. He looked up and saw Malfoy staring at him. Without a word, Malfoy pulled a chair and sat across from Harry.

They stayed there for hours, without talking. Harry eventually finished his homework but didn’t move. He didn’t want to leave. He casually looked up and saw Malfoy looking intently at the book in front of him, though, Harry ultimately noticed that Malfoy hadn’t turned a page in a while.

“It’s nearly dinner time,” Harry whispered. Malfoy looked up and nodded. “I’ll be here tomorrow after lunch for homework again,” he added, and Malfoy nodded again.

 _This_ had become their new ritual—the only time Harry could be with Malfoy without Nott.

\---*---

“Exams are coming up; I can’t believe you’re not worried!” Hermione exclaimed to Ron and Zabini at the Gryffindor table over breakfast. Blaise had begun sitting at the table with them for meals randomly throughout a week. Hermione claimed it had nothing to do with Zabini’s jealousy, but Ron and Harry knew better.

“If you’re so worried why don’t you go study with Draco and Potter in the library?” Zabini asked, rather casually, Harry thought. He didn’t know why he was so surprised that everyone had eventually found out that Harry and Malfoy sat in the library and _studied_. It was the library, and that’s what people did there, right?

Hermione elbowed Zabini in his side and he groaned. Again, Harry felt as though everyone around him knew something and wasn’t telling him. Ron eventually stood up and walked over to the Slytherin table. Harry watched him go. Ron sat next to Pansy, across from Nott and Malfoy. She leaned in and kissed Ron on the cheek. Malfoy locked his gaze with Harry for a moment before Harry looked away, afraid that he’d be caught.

“I don’t want to disturb them,” Hermione said as she was continuing to argue with Zabini.

“It’s a library, Hermione,” Harry said. “You won’t be disturbing anyone.”

“See, it’s settled. We’ll all study together!” Zabini said, placing an arm around Hermione and kissing her on the cheek.

Harry and Malfoy’s second trial at solitude had also been eventually invaded. As the exams neared, their group at the table only became larger. Ultimately, Harry had to scoot to sit next to Malfoy and sitting so close to him, only made Harry concentrate less.

It wasn’t long until Harry began making excuses to abandon their study sessions.

\---*---

It was a week before they’d leave Hogwarts and Malfoy was nowhere to be seen. Harry had looked for him for days in the Great Hall but he always missed all the meals, yet, Malfoy was always in class.

Harry never approached him before so didn’t feel the need to start. He only wondered about his mysterious absence from breakfast, lunch and dinner.

“Haven’t you heard?” Ginny asked, when Harry finally mustered up the courage to bring Malfoy in conversation.

“He broke it off with Nott and McGonagall wouldn’t allow them to switch dorm-rooms so he’s staying at the Three Broomsticks. He takes the Floo to school every day for classes, but then leaves. Nott wouldn’t even sit at the table if he was here so he’s just waiting for the school year to end and he can leave for good.”

“Leave to go where?” Harry asked.

“Paris,” Zabini answered. “His mother is there since she split with his father.”

Harry nodded. He remembered reading something about the divorce in the _Prophet_.

“You should do it,” Zabini said.

“Do what?” Harry asked, confused.

“If you’re thinking about going to him, you should. Don’t let anything stop you, not now, when you have nothing standing in the way.”

“I wouldn't even know what to say,” Harry answered. He looked at Zabini who gave him a look as though he was just about ready to slap him. Harry was sure he was ready to smack himself.

“ _I love you_ is a good way to start,” Hermione said.

“What?” Harry all but screamed.

“We all know you love him,” Pansy said, sitting next to Ron at the Gryffindor table. Harry hadn’t even realised until that moment that ever since Malfoy stopped coming to the Great Hall his friends had started sitting with the Gryffindors.

“And he loves you,” Pansy added.

“But he just got out of a relationship,” Harry argued.

“Mate, he left Nott because he doesn’t want to be with him,” Ron answered.

“Because he _loves_ you,” Pansy said.

Harry looked straight at Hermione before speaking. “You said not to do anything I don’t want to do. You said you don’t want to see me hurt.”

“I was wrong,” Hermione answered. “I thought that your obsession with Malfoy, from sixth year, that it would only get worse. But, I realise now, I had misjudged him, I’d misjudged you. You always _liked_ him and then you two really got a chance to be near each other and you got along.”

“But we only sat in silence…” Harry paused. “We got along because we didn’t talk, we didn’t fight, we did _nothing_!”

“Harry, you don’t even know how jealous we all are of what you share with Malfoy,” Hermione said. “You sit in this comfortable silence, as though you are just two souls who understand each other—without any words—” She sighed and waited for Harry to say something. Harry didn’t know what to say. “Go to him, before it’s too late.”

“But he doesn’t want me,” Harry said. “He said he didn’t want a Promise Ring from Nott, he doesn’t want a relationship!” Harry felt defeated; he stood up from the table. “If I go to him, he’ll only feel _obligated_ to be with me.” Harry walked away from his group of friends and went back to his room.

Harry paced around his room for hours, unable to rest, unable to think about anything else. His mind kept repeating his friends’ words over and over again. Ultimately, Harry grabbed his Invisibility Cloak and headed for Hogsmeade.

\---*---

It was a rainy Thursday afternoon in May when Harry decided to head to the Three Broomsticks Inn and knock on Malfoy’s door. Madam Rosmerta had been kind enough to inform Harry of Malfoy’s room number.

“Potter, what are you doing here?” Malfoy asked, looking surprised and freshly showered as he opened the door in nothing but a towel.

“I...erm...I…” Harry looked at Malfoy up and down and found it difficult to speak. He didn’t necessarily have a speech prepared, but seeing a half-naked Malfoy was not on his agenda.

“Come in,” Malfoy said, as he got out of the way and allowed Harry to enter his room. “So you’re here, because…?”

“I heard you love me,” Harry blurted out, immediately regretting his delivery.

Malfoy groaned. “I’m going to kill _them_.”

“Who?” Harry asked.

“Our friends,” Malfoy spat out. “I don’t think I hate anyone more than I hate them.”

“More than you love me?” Harry raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you here?” Malfoy asked, ignoring Harry’s question.

“Why did you finally manage to break it off with Nott?” Harry asked in return. Two could play that game.

“We hadn’t had sex since before the Christmas holidays.” Malfoy turned towards the cupboard and pulled out a shirt and a pair of trousers.

“Oh,” Harry said disappointedly for two reasons. One, he didn’t like that Malfoy was putting on clothes, and second, he didn’t really care to hear about Malfoy’s sex life. “So you’re looking to find someone to shag?” Harry turned around giving Malfoy privacy to change into his clothes.

“No,” Malfoy said, annoyed. “I realised that I’d much rather spend my evenings in a quiet library with you, than be with someone else that wasn’t... _you_.” He was quiet for a while. “You can turn now.”

Harry turned and saw Malfoy wearing a pair of black trousers and his shirt was unbuttoned.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Harry asked.

“Why didn’t you tell _me_?” Malfoy asked in return. “I made it painfully obvious, all your friends seemed to understand…”

“Well my friends didn’t see you as unattainable,” Harry answered.

“And you thought that?” Malfoy asked as he began to button up his shirt.

“You were with Nott!” Harry was getting frustrated with the conversation. “How am I supposed to think you were _attainable_ when I knew that you were with someone you didn’t want. What would I have done? Asked you to be with me instead? How would I know that weeks, months, down the line you wouldn’t say the same about me to someone else?”

“I wouldn’t.” Malfoy all but whispered his reply.

“Why is that?” Harry asked, calming down.

“Because I never loved Theo.” Malfoy had shortened the distance between himself and Harry and Harry was finding it hard to breathe again. “How would I know how you felt? Every chance we got to be alone, to _be_ together—when we weren’t in the library or any other place where it required us to be social, you’d leave.”

Malfoy was almost touching Harry’s shoulder. “I find it...difficult…” Harry’s breath hitched for a moment. “To think, to act, to...anything. When you’re so close to me.” Malfoy placed his index finger on Harry’s neck and Harry took a deep breath in. “Fuck…” Harry let out an exasperated sigh. “I want you so much, Draco.”

Malfoy leaned in and whispered in Harry’s ear. “Yeah?”

Harry immediately pulled Malfoy towards him, pressing their bodies together. “Yeah,” he said, and placed his lips on Malfoy’s, taking a deep breath in as he sucked on Malfoy’s lower lip, savouring in the taste he’d imagined for so long.

“Tell me what you want, Potter,” Malfoy said, whispering in Harry’s ear again, and licking his neck immediately after.

“I want to touch you, taste you, _feel_ you, Draco.” Harry ran his right hand above Malfoy’s trousers, stroking his erection. “In any way—every way you’ll allow me.”

Malfoy pushed Harry on the bed and immediately laid next to him. Harry struggled to unbutton Malfoy’s trousers. “I wished you didn’t put these on,” Harry whispered. Eventually, he pushed Malfoy’s trousers down completely and took in the sight of his erection, licking his lips.

“Touch me,” Malfoy muttered and Harry obliged. They lay next to each other on the bed and Harry began stroking Malfoys erection. Malfoy ran his hand above Harry’s trousers, stroking his cock, teasing Harry.

“I want you to touch me, too,” Harry said.

“No,” Malfoy replied. “Not like this.” He smiled and pulled Harry in for a kiss as he continued to fuck Harry’s hand. “I want you to make me come first, then you’ll come.”

“How?” Harry asked, speeding up his movements.

“You’re going to fuck me, Harry. Do you want that?” Malfoy asked and Harry all but moaned his answer into Malfoy’s mouth as he continued stroking his cock. It wasn’t long until Malfoy came in Harry’s hand and Harry immediately began to unbutton his trousers.

Malfoy took off his shirt and threw it on the floor, and grabbing Harry’s shirt next. He Summoned lube from the cupboard and handed it to Harry. “I want you, Harry. I want you so much.” Harry rubbed lube on his cock and then at Malfoy’s entrance and slowly pushed a finger in.

Malfoy pushed Harry back and got on top of Harry, balancing himself on his knees. “I can’t wait,” he said and slowly began to sink down onto Harry. Harry felt the heat enveloping around his cock and it took all of his efforts not to come right then and there. Malfoy began a steady rhythm and Harry matched it with his thrusts.

Being with Malfoy was better than Harry had ever imagined it could be. Harry always wanted his first time to be with someone he was madly in love with and the fact that it was Malfoy made everything ten times better. He loved him, he truly loved Malfoy. He didn’t think he could ever love anyone as much as he loved Malfoy in that moment.

“Fuck, Harry, talk to me,” Malfoy begged. “Please, say something…”

“You feel amazing, Draco,” Harry managed to say. “Merlin, I love you!” With his final declaration, Harry came undone, spilling into Malfoy and continuing to thrust into him as though he never wanted to stop. “I love you,” Harry said it again. “I need you. Please don’t…” Harry didn’t mean to—but tears began to trickle down his eyes. The fear of losing Malfoy became more real than anything else in that moment.

“Please don’t leave…” Harry said, right before Malfoy leaned in and kissed him.

“I love you, Harry,” Malfoy confessed. “I’d be a fool to leave you.”

An hour later, they were ready to go again. They skipped their lessons on Friday, ready to deal with whatever repercussions they’d face the following Monday.

\---*---

On Monday morning, Harry walked into the Great Hall and saw Malfoy sitting at the Slytherin table with Zabini and Parkinson. Nott wasn’t sitting too far away. Harry joined his friends at the Gryffindor table.

As soon as he’d finished breakfast, Harry got up and walked to the Slytherin table.

“Draco,” Harry said, “I was wondering if you’ll walk with me to the next class.”

Harry found it funny that the silence on the Slytherin table was as daunting as it was on the Gryffindor table, when Zabini had first approached asking for Hermione.

Malfoy turned visibly red and Harry was finally able to tell that Nott never made Malfoy blush the way Harry did. He felt proud in that moment. Malfoy nodded curtly at the table. Harry looked at Parkinson and winked before walking away with Malfoy, hand in hand, earning himself an “ooh” from the Slytherins.

Next he turned to look at McGonagall, who still had an inspired smile on her face, not looking surprised, at all. Okay, maybe a little bit surprised.

_The End_


End file.
